…Even After Multiple Miscarriages
After four miscarriages, one of the most frequent questions I received is “Why did you choose a midwife instead of a real doctor?”
Honestly, I understand the confusion. When we suffer through multiple miscarriages, it’s a common reaction to increase medical intervention and seek every possible avenue for miscarriage prevention in the future.
So, why have I continually chosen a Midwife over an OB?
1. Neither a Midwife nor an OB can “save” an early pregnancy
The truth is: God grows babies. Not doctors.
I have sought medical intervention, lots of it. But when all is said and done, without a definite cause for the miscarriages (which we still have not yet found), once the sperm meets the egg, there’s not much more we can do except pray that God knits Baby together perfectly.
Trust me, I’ve asked.
Note: I did take a high dose of vaginal progesterone suppositories, a daily low-dose aspirin, and a methyl folate supplement and will continue to take these in any future pregnancies. We are not convinced any of these are the cause or cure for miscarriage, but it never hurts to try!
Over the years, my midwife, Reproductive Endocrinologist, Naturopathic Doctor, and multiple OBs I’ve met with all suggest test after test, with early ultrasounds in pregnancy.
Checking in to “see how things are progressing” doesn’t change how things are progressing.
The reason? To see if everything appears okay.
What if it’s not? Well, then we’ll know.
Know what? That a miscarriage is imminent.
Once, we heard a heartbeat loud and clear at 9 weeks of pregnancy only to miscarry a week and a half later.
Checking in to “see how things are progressing” doesn’t change how things are progressing. So, during our last (successful) pregnancy, my husband and I decided we didn’t need to check in; we just continued with the progesterone, aspirin, and methyl folate, and waited. Honestly, we both agree it’s the best decision we could have made because we were actually a whole lot less stressed!
My midwife completely understood this preference and never pressured us in any way to go forward with these useless tests.
2. Pregnancy isn’t a medical diagnosis; it’s a natural part of life
Pregnancy, birth, and delivery happen all the time, all over the world. It’s completely different than infections, broken limbs, or diseases that require diagnosis and a treatment plan. Roughly three out of four cases have the same prognosis: LIFE.
I have been sick many, many times in my life. In fact, I’ve had my blood drawn so many times over the years I’m positive I could do it on my own better than most phlebotomists I’ve met.
With all the doctors I’ve visited over the course of my life, why would I ever choose to make a medical case out of bringing life into this world?
I don’t want to have my baby in a building made for sick people.
3. I want a positive, empowering birth experience
After so many miscarriages, it is highly plausible that I could miscarry again. But since I already established that a midwife or OB will make no difference in that outcome, I chose and will continue to choose to build a relationship with a professional that I would like to work with on delivery day – if it comes.
I have watched many, many episodes of TLC’s A Baby Story. After watching so many births, I have noticed a distinct difference between Midwives (or doulas) and OB doctors.
When interviewed about the process, doctors and midwives quickly reveal their prospective on birth.
Doctors say things like:
- “The patient is dilated to 6 cm now but hasn’t progressed in the last hour. We’re going to administer Pitocin here soon to see if we can’t get things moving along.”
- “Well, the patient has been in labor for about 10 hours; if I don’t see some progress soon, I’ll encourage her to consider a C-Section.”
- “The patient is getting really tired and hungry so we’ll hook her up to some IV fluids to see if we can get her hydrated enough to get through this.”
Midwives say things like:
- “Mom is dilated to 6 cm now but hasn’t changed much for about an hour. She wants to try a walk with Dad to see if that might help.”
- “What a trooper! Diane has been in labor for about 10 hours; she’s doing great and keeping her spirits up. I’ve suggested a few positions that might help encourage Baby to come out and join us. We might be here a while!”
- “She’s getting really tired and hungry so she’s trying to get some snacking in. I’ve shown Dad a few massage techniques to help her relax while we wait.”
Sometimes, I think doctors are talking about cows rather than human beings. They often seem as though they intend to control the whole process and “the patient” just needs to follow their lead.
On the other hand, midwives appear to embrace the whole person and family in the birthing process while encouraging and suggesting ways it may go better. They’re willing to wait for the process to happen rather than force it to finish before the end of the shift.
Births with midwives appear so much more relaxed and calm than births in a hospital with a bunch of doctors and nurses running around telling you what to do.
And, now that I’ve had my son with a midwife, I can attest that these observations are true! And, my “reunion party” with my Lamaze class with multiple families proved this assessment to be true as well.
4. Statistics favor Midwives
Statistics show (American College of Nurse-Midwives, 2012) that women of the same risk status who use midwives verses physicians had:
- Lower rates of cesarean birth
—Also lower than the national average rate (9.9% compared to 32%) - Lower rates of labor induction and augmentation
- Significant reduction in the incidence of third and fourth degree perineal tears
—Plus, lower than national average rate for episiotomy (3.6% compared to 25%) - Higher rates of successful initiation of breastfeeding
—Higher than the national average (78.6% compared to 51%) - A more hands on approach with a closer supportive relationship with their provider during labor and birth
- Fewer technological and invasive interventions
- Increased sense of control during labor and birth experience
I chose a midwife over an OB and I am so glad I did! Read the Nathan’s story of birth to find out how wonderful it was.
Works Cited
American College of Nurse-Midwives. (2012, April). Midwifery: Evidence Based Practice – A Summary of Research on Midwifery Practice in the United States. Retrieved October 27, 2014, from American College of Nurse-Midwives: http://www.midwife.org/acnm/files/ccLibraryFiles/Filename/000000004184/Midwifery-Evidence-Based-Practice-March-2013.pdf